Williamsburg's BEST Kept Secret? Luxury Getaway at Parkside!
Alright, buckle up, buttercups! Because this isn't your grandma's hotel review. This is a warts-and-all, truth-telling, maybe-a-little-unhinged dive into the… well, let's call it "The Hotel." (I'm being deliberately vague, privacy and all that jazz!) This is my experience, and you're along for the ride.
SEO & Metadata - Because Let's Be Honest, That's Why We're Here (and Google too!)
- Keywords: Hotel Review, Accessible Hotel, Spa Hotel, Fitness Center, Restaurant Review, Wi-Fi, Swimming Pool, [City Name] Hotels, Family-Friendly Hotel, Non-Smoking Rooms, Hotel Amenities, Luxury Hotel. (You get the idea, right?)
- Meta Description: My hilarious and brutally honest review of The Hotel! From the amazing spa to the slightly-less-than-amazing Wi-Fi, I spill the tea on accessibility, dining, safety, and whether it's really worth the stay. Get ready for a rollercoaster!
Let's Get This Show on the Road: The Arrival & Accessibility – Or, My First Attempt at Graceful Entry
Okay, so I get there. I'm already cranky because the airport transfer was a solid 45 minutes longer than advertised (I'm blaming traffic, but maybe the driver was just really enjoying the radio). But hey, valet parking, so at least I wasn't stressing about finding a spot. (Score!) The doorman was super friendly, which immediately put me in a better mood. First impressions, people! They matter!
Important note: I needed full accessibility. And this hotel? Mostly nailed it. Huge points for the elevator, of course. The facilities for disabled guests I'm gonna say were impressive. The ramp access was a godsend. Getting into my room with a wheelchair wasn’t an epic odyssey, which is a massive win in my book.
Inside the Room - My Personal Fortress (Mostly) of Comfort
Okay, so, the room… it was nice. REALLY nice. The air conditioning was a blessing from the heavens because, oh my god, the heat. The blackout curtains deserve a medal; I slept like a freakin' log! Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! (thank god, right?) Free bottled water, too, which is always a nice touch. The bed? Heavenly. (Or, at least, almost; more on that in a bit.) Bathrobes and slippers? Standard luxury, but I still loved it.
The big test was the bathroom. And honestly? It was mostly great. The separate shower/bathtub, (with grab handles!) was a huge win. Wheelchair accessible. But the mirror was just a little too high on the wall, so, I was left squinting a lot. Still, 9/10 for this room, so, good on them.
- What I loved: The soundproofing! I actually thought I was alone in the hotel for large stretches of time!
- *What bugged me: The fact that my complimentary tea options were limited to a single herbal blend that I'd never heard of. Why, oh why can't a girl get a proper English breakfast tea?!
Keeping Busy - The "Things To Do" Rundown (and My Inner Lazy Person)
- Fitness Center: I attempted the fitness center once. I say "attempted," because I lasted maybe 20 minutes before slinking back to my room. Good equipment, though! Not my scene, but I'm sure people would use it.
- Swimming Pool: The swimming pool [outdoor]? AMAZING! The pool with a view was incredible. Just lounging by the pool was an utter joy.
- *Spa/Sauna… Okay, the spa was… where things got interesting. The sauna was hot (duh!), but a little musty. I went for a massage. The masseuse – bless her heart – clearly had a very particular way of doing things. I came out feeling like a pretzel, but in a good way! They even offered a body scrub and body wrap! Total indulgence.
Food, Glorious Food - My Stomach's Adventure
- Restaurants: Okay, the restaurants were a mixed bag. The Asian cuisine in restaurant was outstanding. The international cuisine in restaurant was… fine. The breakfast [buffet] was a glorious feast! I definitely had two plates every morning. A la carte in restaurant? Again, good, with some standouts.
- Drinking: The poolside bar was heaven. Happy hour? Even better. Though, I am sad to report that their cocktails were not very good!
- The Minor Stuff: Coffee/tea in restaurant was alright, not strong enough. Snack bar was actually pretty good, but the desserts in restaurant were a bit underwhelming.
One morning, I got breakfast in room. That was a real treat. The room service [24-hour] came in handy after a particularly hard night, but they did try to charge me a ridiculous delivery fee; I complained and the charge was removed, but it's still a low blow.
The Pandemic Era - How They Handled It
Okay, here's where I really give them credit. The anti-viral cleaning products felt real. Daily disinfection in common areas was absolutely evident. The safe dining setup was noticeable. Staff training in safety protocol – you could see it. I felt genuinely safe, and for that, I give them high marks. They even provide individually-wrapped food options, hand sanitizer everywhere, physical distancing of at least 1 meter, so, it felt like they were really trying.
The Nuts and Bolts: Services and Conveniences
- Concierge - Helpful as Hell
- Daily housekeeping - They were genuinely good and did a great job!
- Laundry service - expensive
- Cash withdrawal - The ATM worked.
- Gift/souvenir shop - overpriced junk, but still a novelty!
For the Kids - My Mostly-Uninformed Take
I don’t have kids, but the place seemed family/child friendly. I spotted kids facilities. I did not have an experience with the babysitting service or a kids meal. They also had a family/child friendly vibe.
Getting Around
- Airport transfer - Took longer than expected.
- Car park [free of charge] - Great!
- Taxi service - Readily available.
The Final Verdict – Is This Place Worth It?
Look, it's not perfect, but it's damn good. The accessibility is a massive win. The spa is worth the price of admission. The food is mostly excellent. The staff is lovely. I'm trying to be honest here and not romanticise things, so I have to say that some of the price points were a bit too high. But all in all, I had a brilliant time and will be back!
Final Score: 4.5 out of 5 Stars (minus half a star for the weird mirror and the lackluster cocktails)
Escape to Paradise: Your Dream Blue Hotel Awaits in Cesenatico, Italy!
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because this isn't your sanitized, color-coordinated travel brochure. This is a diary of my Williamsburg adventure at the Bluegreen Vacations Parkside, Ascend Resort Collection. Prepare for a wild ride, because frankly, I'm still recovering from the trip.
Day 1: Arrival & Questionable First Impressions (aka "Where did I park?")
- 1:00 PM: Landed in Richmond. Okay, feeling good, feeling optimistic! Except… the rental car line. Holy moly. It was longer than the queue for the Space Mountain at Disney. By the time I wrestled a mid-sized sedan into submission, my hair was sticking to my forehead, and I was already judging everyone else's driving habits. (Spoiler alert: they're all terrible, obviously).
- 3:00 PM: Arrived at Parkside. Um… Okay. The exterior felt… a little more "motel chic" than "resort collection." My first thought? "Is this the place? Did I book the right one? Is there a secret room with unlimited snacks?" The lobby was nice enough, very pleasant, like a fancy library. But the real test was the room.
- 3:30 PM: The room! Okay, it's spacious. King bed, yay! Huge TV, double yay! The kitchen looked like it had potential. Also, the little thing behind the bed looks so cute, like the art is meant to be there. But, the air conditioning. Oh, the air conditioning. It was like a small, slightly angry ice factory. I spent a good ten minutes fiddling with the thermostat, convinced it was going to freeze me solid. Note to self: Pack more blankets, and if you can find a way to shut up the guy next door that mumbles a lot, that would be great.
- 4:00 PM: Exploration… (I mean, mostly trying to locate my car). The resort is sprawling. "Sprawling" is a nice word, you know. It's code for "I got lost three times before I found the pool." The pool, by the way, was packed with screaming kids and, at least to my untrained eye, a concerning amount of sunscreen applied in bulk. I opted to hide indoors.
- 6:00 PM: Dinner: Ate at a local restaurant, which went well. The food was actually good and a very kind waitress. It was a relief that it was a good experience.
Day 2: Colonial Williamsburg: History, Heatstroke, and a Meltdown in a Millinery Shop
- 9:00 AM: Colonial Williamsburg! So, historical reenactment stuff in the morning. It was hot, like, "melt your eyeballs" hot. First, the historic area, which was… crowded? Okay, my fault for not anticipating. I was really trying to get into the spirit of things. The historic area was packed; tourists are a nightmare. Memo to self: Bring a fan, sunscreen, and a small army of hydration specialists.
- 10:00 AM: The shoemaker. He was great. Really. He talked about the shoes. Real shoes, made for real people! And he was funny.
- 11:00 AM: Had to give the heat the middle finger and duck into the shade. The Governor's Palace was a lifesaver. Beautiful place.
- 12:00 PM: Lunch: Found a surprisingly decent place to grab a quick bite. I think I was getting a bit delirious at this point because I nearly bought a tricorn hat, and I may have yelled at a pigeon.
- 1:00 PM: The Millinery Shop. Okay, disaster. The shop was just so gorgeous, with all the caps and bonnets. Honestly, I saw a bonnet and I went insane, I was really getting too excited when this lady just started going on and on about the intricacies of straw weaving, and I nearly had a complete meltdown. I may or may not have started crying. The poor shopkeeper… bless her heart. I’m still mortified.
- 3:00 PM: Back at the resort. I retreated to my icy room and did some serious recovery.
Day 3: Busch Gardens & the Thrill of Regret (Just Kidding!)
- 10:00 AM: Busch Gardens! Okay, this I was hyped for. Theme park! Rides! Food! We got tickets, and the place was fun, and a little intimidating. The rides – some were awesome! My stomach, on the other hand, was less enthusiastic. After a particularly aggressive rollercoaster, I spent a good 20 minutes contemplating the existential dread of funnel cake.
- 11:00 AM: Did some shopping. More expensive than I was expecting, and I should've planned the routes better.
- 1:00 PM: Food, glorious food. Yes, but the choices were limited.
- 3:00 PM: Rides, more rides. The air conditioning, again. The heatstroke was still in full swing.
- 6:00 PM: Headed back to the resort, exhausted but satisfied.
- 7:00 PM: More food. Ordered a pizza, but it took forever to arrive.
Day 4: The Unexpected Zen of a Lazy River & the Great Packing Debacle
- 9:00 AM: Pool again! This time, I tackled the lazy river, and it was pure, unadulterated bliss. Drifting along, letting the sun warm my face… I almost forgot I was supposed to be on vacation. Note to self: Bring earplugs. The screaming kids have discovered the art of echoing in the tunnels.
- 11:00 AM: Packing. Oh, the horror. Why do I always bring too much stuff? It's a mystery. I couldn't close my suitcase. I sat on it, I shoved things in, I muttered under my breath. Not a pretty sight. Finally, after an hour of struggling, victory! I managed to zip the suitcase shut. (Probably overpacked by a good ten pounds, but who's counting?)
- 12:00 PM: Checkout. The staff was super pleasant. Goodbye Parkside! I shall remember you, even if I am now slightly traumatized by bonnets.
- 1:00 PM: Drive to the airport. Bye Williamsburg!
Final Thoughts:
Would I go back? Maybe. With a much cooler room, a better bonnet tolerance, and a whole lot more sunscreen. Williamsburg, you were a rollercoaster (figuratively and literally). Thanks for the memories, the sunburn, and the reminder that even the most meticulously planned vacation can go hilariously sideways. And to everyone who ends up there after reading this - Godspeed. You'll need it.
Unbelievable Luxury Awaits: Qingdao Grand Hoya Hotel Review (You Won't Believe This!)
So, like, what *is* this whole FAQ thing anyway? Shouldn't it be, you know, *organized*?
Alright, alright, settle down, Marie Kondo. Look, FAQs are supposed to be "Frequently Asked Questions," right? Like, the basic stuff people constantly type into Google trying to find some answers. Normally, you'd slap up a neat list, everything's a bullet point, and it's all a tad sterile. But my brain? It's less bullet points and more… well, let’s call it a very enthusiastic, sometimes *slightly* messy, collage. Because let's be honest, life isn't all perfect organization, is it? It's more like finding a decent sock *after* the washing machine ate the other one.
What's the *point* of this, exactly? Are you trying to be some kind of... guru?
Guru? Honey, I'm barely making it through the week without forgetting where I put my keys. Look, the "point" is to hopefully give you some answers, but more importantly, to make it… less of a soul-crushing experience. I've wandered through a million of these things that read like they were written by robots (no offense, robots!). This? This is me, talking to you, in my most imperfect, opinionated, slightly-too-caffeinated glory. So, no guru-ing here, just attempting to be human, flawed, and maybe a tad witty. Emphasis on "maybe."
Okay, okay, I get it. But what *are* the actual topics you're supposed to cover? Is there a specific thing we're talking about?
Well, *d'uh*. It's... well, it's about *things*. Life. The universe. Possibly even… everything, if I have enough coffee. Honestly, the categories themselves are whatever pops into my head. Sometimes they are quite random, other times, they are about life experiences I've had. For example...
So... what do you *really* think of your first job?
Ugh, okay, this is where the story gets truly hideous. My first job was at a fast-food place. And let me tell you, it was a baptism by grease. The smell, the endless stream of customers screaming for their "extra pickles," the burns on my arms from the fryer… it was Dante's Inferno, but with a side of fries. I swear, I saw a teenager cry *every* day because the ice cream machine was "broken." (It's a common problem.) My opinion? It was character-building. Or, you know, maybe just a character-destroying vortex of despair. Probably a bit of both. Oh, and the uniform? Ugly. Criminally. Ugly. I think I developed an instant aversion to the colour yellow because of it.
What about... *relationships*? They’re good, right?
Relationships. Ah, yes. The minefield of human connection. Sometimes they're amazing, like finding a twenty-dollar bill in your old jeans when you really need it. Sometimes they're, well, let's just say they resemble a box of assorted chocolates. You never really know what you're going to get until you bite into it, and occasionally... you end up with some filling you *really* didn't want. I've had the blissful relationships, the ones where you finish each other's sentences and everything's rainbows and unicorns. And I've had the... less blissful ones. The ones where you question your sanity and maybe hide the good silverware. Lesson? Communication is key. And wine helps. A *lot*. And sometimes, you just have to accept that the chocolate truffle is just not meant to be. Move on.
Okay, getting real now. What about *failings*? How do you deal with those? Is there a magic formula?
Magic formula? Honey, if I had a magic formula for dealing with failings, I'd be sipping cocktails on a beach somewhere while getting a personal chef to prepare gourmet snacks. The truth is... there isn't one. I mess up. *Constantly*. I say the wrong thing. I forget important dates. I overcook the pasta (again!). Sometimes, I want to hide under a blanket and never come out. But here’s the thing. Learn from them. Seriously, that's all you can do. And yes, it's hard. You gotta pick yourself up, dust yourself off (metaphorically, or literally, depending on the situation), and try again. Sometimes it's a slow, agonizing process where you replay every embarrassing moment in your head. But eventually, you get through it. (Or, at least, you learn to laugh about it. Eventually. Probably.) Failure is part of the human experience. Embrace the mess. Embrace the cringe. And, for the love of all that is holy, embrace the ability to laugh at yourself. It's the only way to stay (relatively) sane.
Is there anything besides failing you have issues with?
Oh, you have no idea. Where do I even begin? I have a deep, abiding hatred for slow walkers who insist on strolling down the middle of the sidewalk. And people who use exclamation points excessively!!!! (See?) Also, the entire concept of "small talk". I'd rather wrestle a badger than discuss the weather. I get extremely annoyed at noisy eaters with the same ferociousness as someone trying to get the last slice of Pizza. I'm very impatient with poor internet services. And the list goes on. I'm only human so give me a break.
So what should I take away from all of this? What's the ultimate lesson?
The ultimate lesson? I'm still figuring it out! But my best guess is this: Life is messy. Life is chaotic. Life is often hilarious, and sometimes heartbreaking. Embrace the chaos. Embrace the mess. Embrace the fact that you're *not* perfect. Because honestly? Perfection is boring. And maybe, just maybe, wear comfortable shoes. You're gonna be walking a lot. And if you stumble? That's okay. Everyone does. Just try to laugh at yourself, and don’t forget the wine.
