Escape to Paradise: Royal Palms Motor Inn Awaits in Coffs Harbour!
Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because this isn't your grandma's travel review! We're going balls-to-the-wall honest about Escape to Paradise: Royal Palms Motor Inn in Coffs Harbour. Forget those dry, corporate write-ups. This is real. This is raw. And, spoiler alert, I'm still not sure what to think.
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- Meta Description: Thinking of a Coffs Harbour getaway? Read my chaotic, honest review of Royal Palms Motor Inn. Accessibility, amenities, food, the whole shebang – warts and all! Find out if it's really an Escape to Paradise.
Alright, now for the messy, glorious truth…
The Arrival – First Impressions & Accessibility (or Lack Thereof!)
Okay, so picture this: rain, the kind that soaks you to the bone in seconds, and me, wrestling with a suitcase that weighed more than my ex's ego. The Royal Palms Motor Inn… well, it’s a classic. Think retro charm meets, uh, a slightly weathered facade. The exterior corridor? Definitely a vibe, in a vintage, "I hope this is where I want to be" kind of way.
Accessibility: Let’s just say, it's… nuanced. The website vaguely hinted at accessibility, and that's where the "nuance" comes in. No specific details. The room was, thankfully, relatively easy to get to (thank god, considering the weather). The front desk staff? Friendly enough, but bless their hearts, they were clearly run off their feet. I saw the elevator only once. However, I'm also not in a wheelchair and can't speak to the full accessibility situation.
Inside the Room: Promise & Reality
My room: let's just say it was a tale of two halves. On the one hand, they've thrown in the necessities: air conditioning that actually worked (praise be!), a bed that, while not luxury-hotel-plush, was perfectly adequate for collapsing into after a day of driving. The free Wi-Fi? Solid. Thank you, internet gods! Daily housekeeping was a lifesaver, I must admit, as I was in the room all day and making a mess. Wi-Fi in Public Areas was available, which was a HUGE bonus. But then there were the little things that made you go, "Hmmm…":
- The TV was small and the channels a bit… dated. I ended up streaming from my phone.
- The bathroom was a little cramped, and the water pressure, well, it was an adventure.
- No desk, just a small little space I had to use as a makeshift workspace.
But, hey, it had a seating area, and an air conditioner, so there's that! So much more than expected.
Dining, Drinking & Snacking: A Foodie's Rollercoaster
Alright, food. This is where things get interesting. Royal Palms offered:
- Breakfast [buffet]: I’m inherently suspicious of buffets, and this didn't exactly convert me. The international cuisine in the restaurant I saw? Limited.
- Room service [24-hour]: Tempting, but I was honestly a little hesitant to order after the breakfast experience.
- Coffee shop: Coffee shop was great.
On-site accessible restaurants / lounges: I will try it and come back to this.
Getting Around: Car Park & Beyond
Car park [free of charge]: Huge bonus! Finding free parking in Coffs can be a nightmare.
Taxi Service: I didn't take a taxi.
Facilities for disabled guests I cannot rate as I didn't need them.
Things to Do & Ways to Relax (or, Why I Actually Might Want to Go Back?)
Now, here’s where Royal Palms almost redeems itself. The swimming pool [outdoor] was gorgeous. And the thing about the Pool with a View is that it is a view. I spent a good hour just staring out at the palm trees and the distant ocean, feeling surprisingly zen.
They also boast a spa, sauna, and steamroom. Did I indulge? Nope. I was too busy writing this damn review (and avoiding the rain).
The fitness center was there, but I walked past one day and it didn't look that exciting. They had a massage listed, maybe next time!
Cleanliness & Safety: COVID-19 Edition
Okay, let's get real. Hotels are still figuring this whole COVID safety thing out.
- Anti-viral cleaning products: Listed on the website.
- Hand Sanitizer: Available everywhere.
- Staff trained in safety protocol: They seemed to be.
Rooms sanitized between stays: The room felt clean, which is the main thing.
- Physical distancing of at least 1 meter: Tried to be done.
- Staff trained in safety protocol: They mostly did.
Services and Conveniences: The Little Things
- Cash withdrawal: Yes
- Concierge: I didn’t need one.
- Convenience store: Had some essentials, which was perfect.
- Dry cleaning: Could’ve used it.
- Elevator: Yes, but also, it was a hike.
- Luggage storage: Yes, and they were cool about it.
- Smoking area: Yes.
- Wake-up service: Didn't need it.
For the Kids Did not bring any kids, but saw families. Family/child friendly Kids facilities, Kids meal - I am unsure.
The Verdict: Escape to Paradise? Maybe… With Some Caveats.
So, would I recommend Royal Palms Motor Inn? Honestly, it depends. If you're looking for a budget-friendly, conveniently located base for exploring Coffs Harbour, and don't mind a little… character, then yeah, give it a go. The staff were friendly, the pool was beautiful, the Wi-Fi was free, and the overall vibe was… quirky-charming.
But if you're expecting five-star luxury and immaculate perfection, you might be disappointed. Remember the "Escape to Paradise" concept? It's more like a gentle "Escape to… almost-paradise."
Final Score: 3.5 out of 5 stars. Room for improvement, but definitely not a disaster. Maybe next time, I’ll try the spa. And maybe, just maybe, then it’ll be a true escape.
Uncover Paraty's Hidden Gem: Pousada do Ouro Awaits!
Alright, Buckle up, buttercups. This isn't your pristine, colour-coded itinerary. This is a real attempt at a holiday, Royal Palms Motor Inn, Coffs Harbour, warts and all. Let's get messy.
Day 1: Coffs Harbour – Arrival, Regrets, and the Promise of Coffee
Morning (ish): Flying into Coffs Harbour. Honestly, the flight was a blur of crying toddlers and the faint smell of stale airline coffee. I swear, the woman in front of me spent the entire flight applying lipstick. Lipstick. On a plane. Anyway, finally landed, grabbed my bags (thankfully, they didn't end up in Timbuktu this time!), and taxi'd to the Royal Palms. The motel… well, it's got character. Let's just say the floral wallpaper might outdate my grandmother, and the "pool" looks suspiciously green.
Afternoon: Checked in. The receptionist, bless her heart, had a nametag that looked like it had been on the desk since the 80s. She pointed me towards room 27. Found it easily. My room… was okay. Surprisingly, it had a mini fridge and functional air conditioning. (Small victories, people, small victories.) Dumped my bags. First order of business: Find COFFEE. I'm convinced decent coffee is the lifeblood of travel, or at least mine.
- Coffee Quest: Wandered aimlessly down the main street, fueled by caffeine withdrawal. Eventually found a little cafe called "The Bean Scene." A godsend. The barista, a young bloke with more piercings than teeth, actually knew how to make a decent flat white. Ah, the simple pleasures. Sat outside watching the world go by, the caffeine starting to kick in, and already feeling slightly less grumpy.
Evening: Strolling the Promenade. This place is nice. The pier is lovely, and even caught some buskers playing. I grabbed a fish and chips and a local beer. Then the mosquitoes attacked, and I retreated back to the motel room.
- Regret Corner: Thinking about that dodgy "massage" I booked online. Seriously, internet, why do I trust you? Praying my back survives. This one is on me.
Day 2: The Big Banana, and a Lesson in Humility
Morning: Okay, so I woke up to a back that felt like it had been used as a punching bag. Thanks, mystery masseuse. Still, gotta push through. Headed off to the Big Banana.
- The Big Banana Experience: Yes, it’s exactly what you think it is: a giant banana. It's… iconic, I guess. I took the obligatory photo, felt a bit silly, but secretly enjoyed it. The banana-flavored ice cream was… an experience. Let's just say, I've had better. The real highlight? The "World of Banana" exhibition. (Yes, a whole exhibition dedicated to bananas.) Who knew there were so many banana varieties?! I learned a lot. Also, the gift shop nearly broke my bank account. I NEEDED that stuffed banana.
Afternoon: Drove around a bit. Saw some beaches. Beautiful views. Found a quiet spot to read, and fell asleep. (Surprise, surprise.)
Evening: The motel's "BBQ area." (Said with a heavy dose of sarcasm.) Tried to grill something. Burnt the sausages. Accidentally set off the smoke alarm. The smoke alarm. Ugh. I ended up eating the charred remains with a side of potato chips. Dinner of champions, really. Found a quirky little bar. Made some small chat, had some good laughs.
- Quirky Observation: The motel pool. Still green. Wonder if anyone has ever actually swum in it. I have a sneaking suspicion it’s a breeding ground for something extra slimy.
Day 3: Exploring the Rainforest, and a Near Disaster
Morning: Decided to be adventurous and hit up the rainforest. Got some hiking boots (which I'm pretty sure still had the price tag on) and headed out.
Rainforest Ramble: The rainforest itself was incredible. Lush, green, with the sounds of birds tweeting overhead. Feeling like a real explorer, I ventured deeper. A little too deep.
Near Disaster!! I got hopelessly lost. Like, properly lost. The trail markers seemed to have vanished. Panic began to set in. I’m not proud of this, but I may have had a small, silent cry. Then I heard a rustling, and my heart nearly leaped out of my chest. Turned out to be a very unimpressed wallaby. Walked out eventually; humbled, hot, and thoroughly covered in dirt. Lesson learned: Stick to the marked trails, people!
Afternoon: Recovering from the rainforest trauma. (And the wallaby encounter.) Ordered a pizza. Swore I would never leave the motel room again.
Evening: Wandered down the coast. Found a nice restaurant for dinner. Some food, the view, and a couple of drinks. Feeling a bit better. Got chatting with the locals. Feeling less of a disaster zone.
Day 4: Leaving Coffs, Leaving Myself
Morning: Packing. The sadness usually hits hardest right when you're about to leave. I wish I had stayed longer.
The Flight Home: On the plane now. Back to reality. This trip was far from perfect, but what adventure is? Found my way around the city and didn't end up spending all my money. The people here weren't too bad, and I'm glad I got out to that rainforest.
- Final Thoughts: The Royal Palms? It's not the Ritz. It's a bit rough around the edges. But it's clean, it's got a bed, and it's mine for a few days. And hey, I've made some memories (mostly embarrassing ones, but still). Coffs Harbour: Check. Time to fly.
Escape to Paradise: Royal Palms Motor Inn Awaits... REALLY? FAQs - A Messy, Honest Take
(Because let's be real, travel isn't always Instagram-perfect, is it?)
Is the Royal Palms actually *paradise*? Like, *real* paradise?
Okay, let's be clear. "Paradise" might be pushing it. I mean, there's no winged cherubs fanning you with palm fronds. Unless you count that rogue palm frond the wind blew onto the BBQ… (That was a *messy* afternoon. Just saying.) BUT, here's the deal. Coffs Harbour *is* beautiful. Think beaches, that gorgeous hinterland, the whole shebang. And the Royal Palms? It's a good base camp. It's not some super-luxe resort, but it's comfortable and clean enough. And honestly? After a long day of driving (and let's be real, arguing with the kids in the backseat...), comfortable is *exactly* what you want.
What are the rooms ACTUALLY like? That tiny little square footage description is useless.
Right? Yeah, those descriptions always sound a bit… generic. The rooms are… well, they're FUNCTIONAL. Think motel-chic. My room had two queen beds, which was a lifesaver with the kids. My mistake. I wish I requested one with a fold-out couch. The bathroom was…adequate. Clean towels, decent water pressure (a huge win!), and enough space to not feel claustrophobic. It's not the Four Seasons, people. But it's a perfectly decent place to crash after a day of sun and sand. I'd recommend requesting a room away from the road, if possible. Traffic noise is NOT my idea of relaxation. I'm a light sleeper and ended up having to wear earplugs. Which is a *thing*.
Is there a pool? Because let's be honest, that's a deal-breaker for some of us…
YES! Thank the vacation gods, there *is* a pool! And it looks… pretty darn inviting, I won't lie. I didn't spend *tons* of time in it, but the kids practically lived there. It’s one of those classic motel pools – rectangle, maybe a little chlorinated. But hey, perfect for cooling off after a day at the beach. They seemed to be properly maintaining it, although I did see some rogue leaves floating by. No biggie, and one time I even saw the pool cleaner guy working on it. A win overall, even though I'm more of a beach person myself.
What about the location? Is it, like, *convenient*?
Totally convenient! The Royal Palms is really well-located in Coffs. You're close to everything. The beach is, like, a five-minute drive (if that!), which is golden. And shops, restaurants, and all the "touristy" things are all within a reasonable distance. We did a day trip down to the Big Banana, got some iconic photos. Good times. I mean, you can't walk everywhere easily, so you'll need the car, but it's a good basecamp to a whole lot of stuff. Plus, there's a decent takeaway place a few blocks over that does AMAZING fish and chips, I'll tell you about it. The best.
What about breakfast? Is there breakfast? 'Cause I HATE cooking on vacation.
Okay, this is where things get a little… uh… let's just say it's not the Ritz Carlton. There's no fancy breakfast buffet *in the hotel itself*. It's more a continental setup, I think, which might entail some prepackaged options provided, but that's it.. So, prepare to fend for yourself, which might be a relief for some people, but probably isn't for others. Bring your own stuff, or find a cafe, which, happily, there are many nearby (hallelujah!). Think I'm going to make my own breakfast next time. Probably the most efficient way for me.
Okay, real talk: What was the BEST thing about staying there?
Hmm… It’s not just one thing, it's a whole confluence of things, like… It's clean, it's comfortable, and it's in a good spot. But the BEST thing? The QUIET. After a long day of kid-wrangling and beach-bumming, being able to retreat to a quiet room and collapse on a decent bed? Priceless. That silence... pure gold. Okay, maybe the fish and chips down the street were a close second. SO GOOD!!! Seriously, if you like fish and chips, go there. You won't regret it. (I’m still dreaming about those chips...)
And the WORST thing? Be brutally honest.
Ugh. The WORST thing… Okay, here we go. (Takes deep breath). The check-in process. It... It was a little… disorganized, shall we say? The reception was a bit understaffed (I could see the poor receptionist *running* around). The line moved slowly. It felt a little… impersonal. It's a small thing, I know, but after a long drive, a warm welcome makes a world of difference. And I had to wait for a while... It just took a little longer than it should have. And honestly, the lack of a proper bar on site was a bummer (where's my poolside cocktail?!). So, yeah, check-in AND the lack of cocktails. Those together are a slightly problematic combination.
Would you stay there again? Be honest!
You know what? Yeah. Probably. Look, it's not faultless. But it's a solid choice. It did the job. The issues were minor. The location is great. The pool is divine. And that quiet… THAT quiet is worth its weight in gold. So, yeah. I'd go again. And I'd definitely go back for those fish and chips. And, this time, I am bringing my own drinks. Just in case.
What about the WIFI? What was the WIFI like?
"WIFI." You know, this is the modern day plague. It feels like if the WIFI's bad, the whole vacation is ruined! Alright,Comfort Zone Inn
